Letter to my old friend #4- V

Dear V

The last of my close uni friends who I abruptly ended a four year friendship with.

We weren’t the closest but neither were we the ones who were strangers to each other. You are one of the few people I enjoyed a comfortable silence with and that to me goes a long way.

You never put pressure on the friendship and allowed it to take what form it could and would. It was easy enough to hang out with you and we would have some of the deepest chats out of all of us and they were sober. We would talk about sex and what the true meaning of friendship is. We tried to define the word friendship to find that it was an emotional path that was tricky to negotiate.

We relished that friendship had different meanings to different people (which in the plain of day makes sense as we all have different life experiences). It was tricky getting our heads around the fact that two people in a friendship could view it in two completely different ways and baffled us why as humans we float in these relationships with little definitions of the relationship.

It’s only when you get into those tight spots in life and you ask someone for something you realise the expectations and definitions you have put in a friendship. It’s then you realise if they are there for you in the way you thought they would be and it’s then you realise if you friendship expectations marry up and in turn your underlying morals and ethics.

You helped me understand that it’s one that what I get and want drink a friendship will be different from the person I’m in a friendship with. The main thing is so we both help improve each other’s lives and have a way to share our morals and ethics and if they don’t aline we have enough mutual respect to debate it and move along. As in the end the only we all learn from each other and the more diverse your friends are the better right?

My biggest regret with closing myself off from the uni group is how I ended it with you. As with the others I needed time away from them both so we all could move on but with you the space wasn’t required. It was just collateral due to the headspace I was in. For that I’m sorry.

But I’m glad when I see a picture of you and your beautiful family. I smile when I see your good news.

I appreciated your friendship and I loved the fact that our hats had me lean so much about me and socialising with others that I’m hopefully using to help improve my life everyday.

Love you always

Tx

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