0-100 Real Quick |Personal

0-100 real quick (Sex drive)

So one thing that is definitely part of my bipolar is the states where I am highly sexually aroused. In those moments I have uncountable one night stands and never feel fulfilled. I have done some unspeakable things in this time and then have periods of shame following. It was hard for me to understand at first as I looked back it became clear though when I wanted 3 different encounters in one afternoon. When I was highly sexually inquisitive at high school (more than the average teen). I now know that the high sex drive comes from the bipolar and not just randomly. The desire and need that could often put me in danger was overwhelming. I could become unsafe and put myself in situations that were far from safe. I had once slept with a team mates boyfriend twice and then in the shame of my actions lied to her as I went into a downwards spiral. The desire for sex clouds my judgement and my inhibitions disappear for a month or so at a time.  I can also excessively masturbate during this period with little high coming from it nor lasting long enough.This apparent increase in sexual desire apparently is more common in women with bipolar compared to men with bipolar.  

Bipolar in a manic episode can be referred to as hyper sexuality. But it can also be effect when depressed and when I’m depressed I have no interest in sex what so ever and effects my self-esteem. This lack of sexual drive can be referred to as hypo-sexuality. This also can link to sexual dysfunction and cause problems when trying to climax and achieve a release, not giving me that satisfactory ending. 

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